Two hours before I wrote this, I had a great conversation with two amazing people as we were leaving class at The School of Practical Philosophy in Manhattan. During the course of that conversation, the mirror of truth was held up, and I realized that I have been procrastinating because of fear.
Fear can be overwhelming…if we allow it to be.
I had stopped updating my blog largely due to fear of what people would think about the changes I have been through and the plans that I have made as a result. Thankfully, I now realize how stupid it is to allow fear to prevent me from being a better me.
In June 2016, as I stood on Fishermans Wharf in San Francisco, ready to cycle alone across America, I was completely without fear – and I had one of the best experiences of my life. Some fear is a positive thing, for example the instinct that keeps us safe when crossing a busy road or the care we take to protect our valuables. But if we allow fear to get in the way of being our true selves, then it is absolutely a bad thing. This is especially so when it comes to living life to our full potential.
I had no fear when I set out from San Francisco
I procrastinated because of fear. When I came to New York, the noise, lack of physical space, the cut-throat job scene, cost of living, the subway and intensity of life here all conspired to subdue me.
Somehow, I allowed the frenetic pace of the city, the opinions of people back home in Ireland, and mostly my own insecurities to manifest themselves as fear. Instead of forging ahead on my planned quest without fear as I had done right across America, I delayed and downsized my plans and dreams.
Thankfully, the conversation outside of the philosophy school helped me to see the truth. Fear is a liar! Some of the greatest things I have done in my life involved ignoring and overcoming fear. It isn’t easy, but if we trust in our intuition, and the true essence of the universal good that exists all around us, we can summon the power to see fear for what it really is – a hindrance to our ability and desire to evolve into something better.
Before I cycled across America, before I got married, before I made the decision to stop drinking and on a few other occasions I felt fear but chose to see it for the liar it really is. Fear makes us miss out on opportunity, sell ourselves short and procrastinate to the point where our dreams get thrown on to the scrapheap in our mind. This is the scrapheap that fear uses as evidence when it next shows up to tell us lies. Fear presents fast failures as a way to deter us from grasping happiness and success. But, when we think about it, this is fear in perpetual motion. And that is a really sad thing.
Taken at Machu Picchu, about 30 minutes before I proposed to Yesi! No fear!
After a settling in period in New York City, where at times I felt completely overawed, overaged and under-funded, I am going back to where I was on Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco. Im going back to where I was at Machu Picchu when I got on bended knee and asked Yesi to marry me. Im going back to where I was when I put down that last drink. Im looking fear in the eye and calling it out for the liar that it is. Fear is not real. Life is real, and it is to be enjoyed, so bring it on!