Wild Atlantic Retreat announced for weekend of March 11th-13th 2016, in Glencolmcille, Donegal, Ireland
Let the refreshing ambience of the Wild Atlantic Way soothe your soul in one of Ireland’s most spectacular coastal locations.
Wild Atlantic Retreat
Get away from it all for a magical weekend of pure fresh air, ocean views, chill-out time, hiking, meeting new friends, meditation, live music, good food and spectacular scenery. This is your chance to escape the world, on The Paris Method‘s inaugural Wild Atlantic Retreat in Glencolmcille, County Donegal, Ireland.
The calming influence of the open ocean and spectacular coastline along the Wild Atlantic Way in south west Donegal will revitalize you, setting you up for a great spring and summer. Staying at one of Ireland’s finest hostels, Aras Gleann Colm Cille, you will be treated to the famously warm Donegal welcome, and enjoy a memorable weekend of YOU time.
This article outlines the 5 easy steps towards meditation. Together, they are PARIS – a simple and effective method for relaxation and de-stressing. Embrace it. Like it. Share it.
Is your mind too busy to fully relax? Do you feel tired all of the time? Would you like to meditate, but are not sure how? The 5 easy steps towards meditation with The Paris Method can help you to feel better and calmer at any time. The best time is right now. From here, you can fully enjoy the benefits of meditation. Go on, give PARIS a go right now by practicing these 5 easy steps to meditation!
Perspective
Believe in the power of now. It is only when we are in the present moment that we can relax our thoughts. Forget the memories of yesterday, ignore the worries of tomorrow. Simply bring yourself to this very moment. Regardless of what your current perspective is, simply become aware of it, and bring yourself to peace with it. The kids may be playing nearby. Someone may be listening to the television, or the train may be busy. Accept your current perspective of the world. This is your current perspective. Be content with it. Take one or two long deep breaths and feel yourself begin to relax.
Attitude
Once you have become aware of your current perspective, you now have a simple choice. You can proceed with a positive attitude and enjoy this very moment, or you can wallow in a mood and fail to find the peace you are entitled to. Be your own best friend right at this moment. Give yourself the best chance of feeling good right now, by telling yourself that you have a good attitude within yourself. This will give you the motivation to help yourself enjoy this time.
Reflection
The reason we do not reflect before now is that we need to reflect in a positive manner. If our awareness of perspective and attitude are not right then repeat the previous steps before you continue. Reflection without the right attitude will only lead to worry. Worry is not our friend. By reflecting, we are making a decision to deal with the issues which may be niggling at us. Do we need to forgive someone so that WE can find peace? Do you need to apologize to someone so that YOU feel better? Do you need to pay that bill, or mail that letter? Ask yourself honestly what you can and need to change. You already know the answers – but don’t let negative emotions prevent you from taking the action you need. Make a decision to make change. Have you been procrastinating? Allowing simple things to build up and log-jam causes worry. Let them go. It is sometimes an accumulation of little things which pile up, making us feel under pressure. Make decisions to change the little things. You CAN do it. All you need to do right now is surrender and make the decision. Once you have made the decision, you can fully relax.
Inspiration
Life can be tough. But lets remind ourselves of our goals. Lets keep in mind why we work so hard, why we do what we do on a daily basis. Parenting may be tiring, but remind yourself that you are doing a wonderful thing by bringing beautiful people into the world. Long hours and stressful jobs are not pleasant, so lets remind ourselves that we do this to earn money so that we can enjoy life. Motivate yourself to be able to accept life’s challenges, by using our goals our inspiration. If you are lacking goals, then make some. Dream! Inspire yourself!
Spirituality
At this point, if you have followed the first 4 steps correctly and honestly, you will be feeling peaceful and at ease. If not, simply start again. “Every waking moment is another chance to turn it all around”. When you have fully and honestly followed the first 4 steps, you will start to feel serenity. Embrace this calmness. Tell yourself that you are grateful for this feeling. Inwardly give yourself a pat on the back and continue to stay with this peaceful moment. It feels good right? So stay with it. This will lead seamlessly into a short period where your mind will be calm, positive and subconsciously creative. This place is meditation.
The more diligently you have followed the 5 easy steps towards meditation, the more you will enjoy this moment. Try it again. Try to improve your ability to embrace each step. Surrender to the things that are causing you to object to some of these ideas. Embrace the thought that you have the ability to make yourself feel better at any time. It is a nice thought right? Try it again soon, share it, enjoy it and most of all, recognize that at this very moment, life is a whole lot better than you thought it was a few moments ago. The 5 easy steps towards meditation will take up about 5 minutes of your day. Isn’t this little bit of ‘you’ time worth it? 🙂
This is the story of how I first discovered what I call my Wild Atlantic Way Meditation using The Paris Method. I hope that by sharing it, I can help at least one other person to experience a little bit of peace. I would love to tell you that I made this discovery out of some deep experimentation with spirituality involving soft music and candles, but I did not. I discovered it out out of pain, loneliness and desperation. Maybe it was better that way.
Sometimes life gets us down. There are times when we feel the need to just get away from it all. I am no different. Having discovered meditation by chance, while on a trip to Port and Glenlough in County Donegal, I now believe that there is no better place for soothing the soul, than Ireland’s Wild Atlantic Way. I recorded the video below at St John’s Point on a winters evening. I think it epitomizes the soothing influence of the ocean on the Wild Atlantic Way, under a sky that is very specific to Donegal at sunset.
I am not too sure what it is about the ocean that captivates me. I am almost hypnotized by the movement, size, depth, power and beauty of the Atlantic ocean. I love the smell of the seaweed and the salt water, and if in Donegal, the feeling of being deeply cleansed by some of the freshest air imaginable. I love the dynamic coloring of the water, from aqua to white, and blue to grey, sometimes all within a single seascape. I am as content sitting watching the ocean as I am being in it or on it. This stimulation of my senses forms a mystical attraction which pacifies me, cajoling my mind towards complete relaxation.
The calmness and serenity I feel from Wild Atlantic Way meditation on Donegal’s rugged coast, has brought me to a beautiful place emotionally – a place that I did not know existed. Maybe because so much of our body consists of water, we find identification by embracing such volumes of it. Maybe the ocean speaks to us on some higher level of serenity, far beyond our comprehension. We may not be able to understand it, but we can certainly feel it. This gives the ocean a mystical characteristic which is really alluring. The Wild Atlantic Way meditation which I discovered and will describe in this article, gave me one of the most profoundly beautiful experiences of my life.
One of the many different types of sunset over the Atlantic ocean, seen from the Wild Atlantic Way in Donegal
At different times in my past I had been open to the notion of meditation. For one reason or another, be it a busy work schedule, pressures of taking a masters degree, drinking too much, or just from burning the candle at both ends, I had felt down and on edge. Although I was open to meditation, I always thought that it wasn’t for me because my head was too busy. Isn’t it ironic that the very reason that I needed to meditate was the very reasons why I did not.
So, I just stumbled through life, from from dark patch to the next, always with racing thoughts. If I was being creative or when I would be in a happy place, racing thoughts were fine – maybe even beneficial. But when I would suffer lows, my thoughts would continue racing, only this time in a negative manner. So I would just wallow there, and the subsequent self pity would lead to negative and festering emotions.
Maybe I just didn’t want to face myself; preferring to conceal my inner feelings in the shadows cast by anxiety and unhappiness. I am a man after all, and I always understood that a requirement for membership of the masculine club was to appear to be too tough to consider my own feelings. Big boys don’t cry and all that. I think I presumed that everyone felt the same way i did. My life just seemed to rumble along without much awareness. And then I had a biking accident. Absolutely everything changed – and everything changed absolutely.
I came off an electric bike, hitting my head and face off the road at approximately 35mph. I wasn’t wearing a helmet. I suffered a lot of cuts and injuries over most of my body and was also badly concussed. I was, in the words of the surgeon who treated me, ‘lucky to be alive’.
Unable to work, drive or do much at all for two months, I was laid up on a recliner chair in a stupor. A nasty cut to the back of my hand had damaged a nerve, so I was given morphine to relieve pain. Weeks later, when the concussion had cleared, I realized how low I was feeling. My social interaction had evaporated. I was probably suffering from cabin fever and mild circumstantial depression. I remember thinking that I had hit rock bottom. Funnily enough, since then, I have looked back and thought that rock is actually a great foundation on which to build something!
Being injured and off work had created financial problems. The accident had left me experiencing a lot of anxiety and negative thoughts. I felt vulnerable. I suppose it is only when we are forced to stop, that we really take a look at ourselves. I didn’t particularly like what I saw.
I planned a drive to the coast in the hope that a walk would clear my head. So on November 8th 2014, I got into my car and drove. About 45 minutes into the journey I saw a sign post for a place that I had heard of just once before, but had never been. On the spur of the moment, I made the turn. Port is probably one of the remotest places in Ireland, and it would be here, in this most desolate and lonely outpost, that I would find myself.
Panoramic picture at Port, Donegal, on Ireland’s Wild Atlantic Way
The long and lonely road simply comes to an end at a little cove, which is surrounded by dramatic cliffs. The nearest other human being is probably 4 or 5 miles away. I parked up and climbed up on a hillside, eventually arriving at the cliffs. The scenery is absolutely amazing; there is nothing but ocean, sky and the coastline. Man’s footprint has not been visibly left here.
Rainbow over Tormore Island, at Port, Donegal, Ireland
I did not fully appreciate the beautiful scenery at the time. I was distracted. The drive had done little to lift my spirits. I was probably also suffering from self-pity. I walked along the cliff face and repeatedly ran my problems over and over in in my head. I was thinking about the mounting bills, struggles with finding the right medical treatment and how to pay for it. I was worried that my career was coming under threat. And ironically, I was mostly worried about how worried I was.
The walk which was intended as a way of clearing my head, was actually making me feel worse. My negative thoughts were racing, and on each rerun my problems seemed to magnify. I felt at one with this place in terms of isolation. How I was feeling at that time was pretty close to self-inflicted mental torture. Finally, almost out of desperation, I just stopped walking. All of the stress and negative emotions had left me feeling completely exhausted. My rational and logical thinking had been completely browbeaten by worry, negativity and self-pitying emotions. From my vantage point, four hundred feet up on the cliffs of Port, I stood gazing aimlessly out over the Atlantic ocean. Out of sheer desperation I completely surrendered to all of the emotional pain. My thinking was: I am so tired of feeling this way – and I just want to give up.
Time passed. Eventually I sat down on some heather, continuing to stare out over the ocean. A breeze was blowing onshore, and my senses were filled with the sights and sounds of the Atlantic. I noticed the patchwork or colors on the water, where in places the faint sunlight was breaking through the clouds, sending sunbeams down onto the ocean. Other patches were darkened by the passing of a heavy isolated shower. There was an average swell, and I watched as the waves made their way towards the base of the cliffs, where they would smash against the rock, sending spray high up onto the cliff face. A few hardy sea birds hovered in the wind, no doubt searching for an evening meal. I didn’t really notice it happening, but I began to relax. (If i had have noticed, it might not have happened!)
The view over the Atlantic ocean, from the remote cliffs at Port, County Donegal, Ireland
In the past, when I had tried to meditate, I had merely ended up getting more frustrated and stressed. I read once that when trying to meditate, that I should concentrate on emptying my head of all thoughts. How on earth could I both concentrate and have no thoughts at the same time?! That contradiction always bothered me. But by simply taking in the phenomenal natural beauty of my surroundings on the Wild Atlantic Way, I had finally arrived at the point where my frenzied thoughts were quieted by more conscious thought. And that is when I inadvertently practiced The Paris Method for the first time. That method finally afforded me the chance to harness and relax my rollercoaster thoughts enough so that I could meditate – and it was beautiful.
It had started when I had surrendered my quest to find immediate solutions to my problems, and became aware of my surroundings. I came to realize that my perspective at that very moment was pretty good. I was under no immediate pressure, and the panoramic view in front of me was pretty spectacular. So right at that moment, I realized that all of my worries were either in the past, where I could not change them, or were so far off in the future that they did not require a solution right there and then – if at all. I discovered that all I really needed to focus on at that very moment, was that very moment. That was a really nice and welcomed thought, and it completely grounded and pacified me.
400 feet above the Atlantic waves. Port Cliffs, Donegal, Ireland
I then made a decision that regardless of how dire my financial, medical or career situations actually were, I would face them with a positive attitude. I realized that I was completely on my own, and that the only ally that I could call upon was myself. If I was to rely on myself alone, then I needed to make sure that my attitude was positive, otherwise I would be working against myself which would only serve to restart the emotional turmoil.
Upon reflection of how I could adjust my attitude, I realized that much of my worry was actually brought about by procrastination regarding medical appointments, paperwork, and communication with my employers. I made a decision right there and then to deal with those outstanding matters at the first available opportunity. And guess what? Once I made the decision, my problems suddenly seemed more manageable, and my worry towards them began decreasing. I had done nothing but make a decision, and my problems had eased to the extent that they faded from my present thought.
This brought me to realize that life can sometimes be difficult for a reason. I thought on one of my favorite movie quotes: ‘without the bitter, the sweet aint as sweet.‘ By becoming aware that these tough times may actually serve the purpose of enhancing the good times, I had given myself the inspiration to fight my way out of this low ebb.
The peace that I was starting to find led to the final step, which is spirituality. I was so grateful to have the opportunity to enjoy such a beautiful location, with a thought process which wasn’t racing uncontrollably like a neurotic roller-coaster. This awareness and gratitude made me very much aware of the growing sense of spirituality which I was feeling. The more I focused on it, the more beautiful and enjoyable it became. And that, is how I arrived in a meditative state for the first time in my life. It was peacefully euphoric.
Maybe men don’t openly talk about these sorts of emotions regularly, but I am not ashamed to say it: I had found the most serenely beautiful moment of my life. Given that just a short time earlier I had been pacing with worry and anxiety, it seemed incredible that I had found such a peaceful feeling. Maybe it is true what they say: the darkest hour is just before dawn. I began to realize that the more I had surrendered the more I enjoyed it. I had started to learn about the importance of nothing.
As I made my way back down the hillside to the little cove, it felt as though I was walking on air. My head was clear, and my outlook was greatly improved. On the road home though the wilds of central Donegal, I replayed the experience. I wanted to bottle this peacefulness, and to do that, I had to understand how I had arrived at the feeling. I labelled the steps I had gone through up on the cliff top. Perspective, Attitude, Reflection, Inspiration and Spirituality. I would later abbreviate these steps, creating the PARIS acronym. Paris was a very poignant term, because I had also had an experience in the French capital over 10 years previously. But on that occasion I had not stayed with the feeling long enough to have understood it.
Since that day of revelation at Port, Wild Atlantic Way meditation has continued to bring much peace and joy. Even when I am unable to get to the ocean, I imagine that I am there, and repeat those 5 simple steps of The Paris Method. I imagine the sounds of the waves; the wind and the sea birds. And I imagine the entire Wild Atlantic Way seascape under the amazing twilight of a Donegal sunset. The experiences are just too profound to keep to myself. I know that I have to share them.
Sunset over the Wild Atlantic Way, at Port, Donegal
There is something magically transformative about the ocean. Just as the salt water can help to heal our broken skin, the clean air and the vast expansive ocean can somehow also heal our minds, and soothe our soul. I know without doubt that the rugged Atlantic coastline of county Donegal has given me a remarkable awareness of how to be myself, and how to like what I see when I meditate.
This Wild Atlantic Way meditation has turned my entire thinking around, allowing me to appreciate life on a whole different level. I am a long way from perfect (I have no wish to be perfect!), but my wild atlantic way meditation has given me a framework onto which I can build some positive direction in my life. Up until today, that direction has taken me on a journey which is so beautiful that I cannot even start to put it into words. But I will, eventually.
The fact is, that back on that November day in 2014, I had not yet encountered the worst effects of my biking accident. I am still working through those. It is a long, arduous, and sometimes very unpleasant process, but my Wild Atlantic Way meditation is helping me to get through it.
Maybe, just maybe, if you try The Paris Method for yourself, you will discover some of the peace that I am referring to. I really hope you do.
Early January is a time for change. After holiday indulgences, many of us plan a fresh start to herald the arrival of a new year. Millions of people make new years resolutions every year, but despite our best intentions, as few as 8% actually follow through with those promises for more than a few months. According to Time Magazine, the top 10 new years resolutions are:
Lose weight
Quit Smoking
Eat Healthier
Get out of Debt/Save Money
Be Less Stressed
Drink Less
Volunteer
More Friend/Family Time
Learn Something New
Travel to New Places
Making new years resolutions such as those on the list above, is relatively easy. Keeping them is a little less so. As time moves along, we seem to forget the promises that we made to ourselves, and the reasons we made them. We might even want to forget that we made the commitment at all, as a means of guilt avoidance when we fail.
Fortunately, I know a little bit about having to sit myself down and make a life-changing decision. And more importantly, I know a little bit about having little choice but to stick to it. At the time that I stopped drinking alcohol, I wouldn’t have looked at it as being a fortunate event, instead probably seeing it as a frightening cliff face that my relationship with alcohol had walked me towards. There was no going back. I could either fall, or build some wings to support myself as I was forced to take a leap of faith and leave my mountainous problems behind.
Until today at least, I am still airborne and very much enjoying the flight. Whether it is ongoing recovery from addition, or a simple lifestyle improvement by making new years resolutions, I believe the basic principles are the same. I also believe that if we really want to achieve something (that we are realistically capable of), then there is nothing in this world to stop us.
Understand
Keeping new years resolutions is difficult for a very simple reason – we so desperately want to make lifestyle changes, because the particular thing we want to address has been taken to excess. This means that we really like doing it, not doing it, smoking it, drinking it or whatever the case may be. So going from excess to abstinence is difficult if not impossible, until such time as we understand why we excessed.
Regardless of whether it is alcohol use, dieting, exercise, being less stressed, making more time for family or whatever resolution we chose, instead of aspiring to something new, maybe we can look at why the issue requires such a dramatic change in the first place. This will help us to understand what we are trying to change, and help us to be grateful for every moment in which we keep our new years resolutions. Understanding the need for our new years resolutions on an ongoing basis will dramatically increase our chances of succeeding. Remembering the emotions that drove us to make the decision to change, will help us every day. It is not so much about a new fight every day to keep your new years resolutions, it is about understanding what drove you to making that promise to yourself in the first place.
Change
Change requires just that; change. Hoping you keep your new years resolutions to be healthier, skinnier, fitter, less stressed is not enough in itself. WE need to actually change. After I stopped drinking alcohol, I changed much more than just what I chose to put in my glass. I broke ‘friendships’, changed habits, formed new relationships, avoided certain places, frequented others, took up new interests, read new things, looked at life with a more open mind and did just about anything it took to give myself the best possible shot at staying true to my decision on a daily basis. If we want to diet by avoiding convenience food, then maybe we also need to change where we pick up our food, change our routine, eat at different times, spend less time in the company of others who eat convenience food, etc. An isolated decision alone, regardless how much we promise ourselves that we will keep it, is susceptible to failure unless we make other changes to accommodate it. So, to change, do just that – make changes.
Ignore the Negativity
While kicking the habit, or starting on a better path is an admirable thing to do, it can actually make us feel worse unless we actually stick to it. Breaking promises to others is one thing, but breaking a promise to ourselves completely destroys our self esteem. Sometimes we are so disgusted with ourselves for breaking our new years resolutions that we actually revert to even more excess afterwards, making the desperate promises of next January even more difficult, and mapping out a year filled with guilt until we try again. We need to ignore this negativity. Our subconscious, or ego, will do its very best to drag us down. Who can identify with the voice that says ‘but you deserve it’, ‘its only one’, ‘I can start over tomorrow’, ‘this is too hard’ etc? We really need to ignore that voice. It will go away if we ignore it and stay strong by sticking to our convictions. This voice is trying to make us unhappy, so why should we obey it?
Believe
As new years resolutions get broken, we subconsciously tell ourselves that we are incapable, that we are stuck, unable to follow through with our dreams and plans. So not only do we revert to the excesses of our worst habits, but we also damage our ambition in general. We need to believe in our own convictions, regardless of how much or how little progress we seem to be making. If you fall – get up. If you fall and get up and fall again – then get up yet again. Always get up once more than the number of times you fall. You have got to believe in your convictions and your ability to do this, regardless of what happens. If there is one person or thing in this world that you can believe in, it is yourself. Because you yourself have the ability to control what you believe in.
Here is a good reason to continue believing in yourself, even if you have slipped up along the way. Even in failure we can find positivity. According to Mark Griffiths, Professor of Behavioral Addiction at Nottingham Trent University, people who make new years resolutions are ten times more likely to achieve their goals than those who don’t. So you see, even in yesterday’s failure, there is an echo of today’s success.
Live in the Now
To give ourselves a better chance of keeping our new years resolutions, we should forget about the new year. Yes you may already have lasted for two days, or a week already. But guess what? That counts for nothing when it comes to your chances of keeping your promise to yourself. Every moment is a standalone moment. Yes, certain abstinences will give us benefits the longer we refrain, and yes we will garner more self belief the longer we stick to our resolutions, but why on earth should we be measuring our future based on a date in the past? Be happy with yourself right now, not happy for yourself in the past. The new year is gone. Yesterday is gone. What we did yesterday is also gone. The ironic truth is that in many cases, the longer we abstain, the harder we hit the old habit if we take it up again. (Smokers tend to smoke more heavily after a failed attempt to quit, dieters tend to put on even more weight after a failed regime and tee-totalers often go on a huge bender after falling off the wagon). So, forget what you have done so far, or how long you have ‘been good’.
Any resolution is only applicable today, or even right at this very moment. You cannot change the fact that you either kept your new years resolution or broke it yesterday. You have no way of knowing or controlling what will happen tomorrow. So, to give ourselves the best chance of keeping our new years resolutions, we should look on them as ‘this moment resolutions’, rather than new years resolutions. Forget the past. Ignore the future. Just concentrate on the now – for now is all we can control.
Reward Yourself
We all like a pat on the back. If it comes from others it can make us feel uncomfortable. But if we are able to genuinely pat ourselves on the back, it will feel amazing, and keeps our ego in check too, because suddenly this new regime is rewarding as opposed to being arduous. After stopping drinking, I ‘rewarded’ myself by taking up new activities and being able to afford the cost of the best equipment, for example surf boards, surf holidays, cameras, gym membership, a cool phone, a car etc. Just be careful not to replace one habit with another. Many addicts suffer cross-addiction when they attempt recovery. The void left by one addiction is often filled by a new addiction. This is also true for habits, even if they are not problematic habits.
Reward yourself, but just don’t overdo it. Most of all, enjoy the benefits you are now experiencing because you are are keeping your new years right now resolution. If you haven’t made a resolution, fear not. You can start anytime you like – new year or not. Because, to quote from one of my favorite movies: ‘Every waking moment is another chance to turn it all around’.
The Paris Method can help you to ask yourself what you would like to change, and help you to achieve it. Change is beautiful. Make it. Keep it. Enjoy it.
